What's a Little Groping Among Friends?

A few weeks back we all traveled to Ohio for a good friend's wedding. Beforehand, I went over the obvious rules for attending a wedding with Harper.

1. No yelling during the ceremony.
2. No running.
3. No touching the cake until it's cut.

In hindsight, there are a few more rules I should've added.

At the reception, the bride and groom, Nora and Erick, sat at a small table on a raised stage. When Harper spotted them, she asked if she could go say hi to the princess. I told her she could and she took off. I watched from my table as Harper, somewhat shyly approached their table. Nora turned and saw Harper and smiled.

Harper took a deep bow. She was really taking the princess thing seriously. I smiled and nudged Nick so he could see. There's something heart warming about when your friends meet your babies. It's like everything comes full circle. I smiled to myself and rested my head on Nick's shoulder.

And then Harper put both hands on the bride's chest.

Oh God. What does she have on her hands?! Was my first thought, since she always has something on her hands. Then Harper's little friend Brynlee followed suit and both girls were collectively feeling up the bride.

Oh crap! Not Brynlee too! What was on her hands? Did I see her eating chocolate earlier? I think I did. Great, now I'm going to have to sell my kidney on the black market to reimburse Nora for her wedding dress. I wonder how much a kidney goes for...

But I didn't want to sell my kidney, so I sprang into action. I pass off the baby to Nick like a quarterback hands off the football. I hurdle the chair in front of me and blow past guests so I can kindly stop my daughter from accosting the bride.

When I get there Nora is laughing, "I love her," she said.

I look at her dress. No dirt. No food. No whatever else lives on Harper's hands. Nothing had transferred to Nora's amazing gown. And in typical Nora fashion, she was sweet and gracious and thought the whole thing was hilarious. Harper and Brynlee said goodbye to the princess and made their way back to our side of the room.

Brynlee's mommy and I were college roommates back in the day and we had our share of fun. But I can honestly say that we never co-groped someone. In 15 years when our kids are roommates, I'm hanging this picture in their dorm. What a great start to the next generation's roomie antics.